I'll be the first to admit that I'm no domestic god.  That's not to say I'm a man behaving badly, just that I suspect my cleaning standards are perhaps not up to the high standards of Jitka.  I think making an effort is important though.  New research suggests that men who attempt to shirk their responsibilities could be biting off more than they can chew.

A study has asked around 400 couples across Europe about the distribution of domestic chores in their household.  They also quizzed each couple on their level of marital bliss.

All of those quizzed were dual-earning couples with young children.  The women in each partnership each worked at least 15 hours a week, with the average professional workload being approximately 30 hours per week.  The men in the study worked on average 49 hours.  As is often common in much of the western world. despite working, the women in the relationship did the bulk of the domestic duties.

In addition to the total housework done in each household, the researchers wanted to understand both the distribution of that housework, and whether each person found that distribution fair or not, and indeed whether they found the process by which this distribution was decided upon was fair.  They also attempted to gauge the health of the relationship by asking how often they argued and how happy each person was in general with the relationship.

Here is the crunch for men.  For the majority of women in the study, the total housework they did was not a bone of contention.  What caused them to gripe however was the distribution of the housework, and more importantly whether that was fair or not.  Women who thought the distribution of housework was unfair were found to argue much more and be less happy in their relationship.

What made things even worse was if the women thought that the process by which the housework was divided up was also unfair.  If that was the case then the menfolk are in a world of hurt.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the men had no such worries.  For men there was nothing about the distribution of housework that could make them unhappy.  The only way it affected their mood at all was if the women in their life did lots of it, which made them happier than usual.

This joy was short lived however because the research found that when their partner was mad about the inequitable distribution of the housework, they inflicted much more pain on their partner than the joy they received at getting out of doing it in the first place.

"The results support the proposition that it is not the balance of the division of labour itself but rather the subjective sense of justice associated with the division that matters primarily to the relationship satisfaction of the persons concerned," the researchers concluded. "Spouses should exchange their personal views and preferences in open discussions to arrive at an agreement that considers the wishes of both parties … "

So the message is clear for the men out there.  If you want a happy household, you need to make sure that you chip in with the housework, or at least make sure that your partner is happy with how things are divided up.