As the world has become increasingly polarized, each side of the divide has become increasingly defensive about their position, and therefore unable to view the perspective of their “opponent”.

Recent research from Flinders University highlights how easy it is for defensiveness to manifest itself, and explores how it can be reduced.

The study shows that when we’re defensive because of perceived wrongdoing, this defensiveness is often exacerbated by any efforts to make the wrongdoer feel like they’re an outcast.  The research highlights that defensiveness can manifest itself in various ways, many of which let ourselves off the hook for our misdemeanor.

For instance, we might misrepresent or misremember what happened, or deflect blame onto others.  Alternatively, we might minimize any harm that was caused or deny responsibility where possible.

“This research shows that defensiveness is strengthened by negative social responses, but is reduced when people feel secure in their group identity, respected and valued,” the researchers say.

“Based on our research over the past several years, our recommendations for reducing defensiveness when dealing with someone who may have done something wrong is to emphasise respect and value for the person, even if you disagree with their views or actions. Also provide opportunity for the person to express their values prior to talking about the specific problem.”

Undermining relationships

The researchers highlight how defensive responses undermine our ability to resolve problems effectively and therefore have a significant impact on decision-making within groups or in relationships.

“Of course these responses do not always feel natural or easy – especially when faced with someone who we think has done wrong to us,” the researchers explain. “Our instinct is also self-protective. As a result when people are caught doing something wrong in our society we often stigmatise, reject or punish them, but this is likely only strengthening those defensive responses over time, not just of that person but of other people in similar situations.”

The paper highlights that defensiveness is largely a protective mechanism that has evolved over time.  In some ways, it is beneficial in helping us to bounce back from failures and generally maintain a degree of optimism and self-esteem.  It also, however, leads to blind spots in our decision making, with problems often going unrecognized and victims unacknowledged.

Raising the defenses

Defensiveness tends to emerge because we have a primal need to feel valued and included by others.  If we don’t feel like we’re a good member of the group or valued in our relationship, then defensiveness can easily emerge to protect ourselves.

“When people do something wrong this primary psychological need is threatened, driving a defensive response,” the researchers explain. “But addressing that psychological need to belong can reduce their defensiveness.”

People can feel less defensive, however, when they feel more secure in their identity within the group, which can be achieved through reinforcing our values prior to the discussion of whatever event caused the defensiveness.

“While it is beyond this research, we suggest that Restorative practices and Acceptance Commitment Therapy are both readily available frameworks that can help an individual or group when working through wrongdoing and will likely reduce defensiveness because both approaches provide strategies in line with these recommendations,” the researchers conclude.