One of the more depressing, yet common, features of modern life (outside of Covid that is), is the use of mobile phones in social settings, such as cafes, restaurants, and bars. New research from NTNU explores why people dive into their phones even when at social events with other people.
The research identified three core reasons:
- To delay or pause the conversation
- To extricate ourselves from the conversation
- To share something with others
The researchers spoke to various people in cafes across Trondheim about their mobile phone usage and the various ways in which they interacted with others.
“We focused exclusively on people who seemed to know each other from before and who met to socialize. In addition, we observed 108 other meetings at a distance, kind of like research flies on the wall,” the researchers explain.
Stilted interaction
Pausing our interactions are arguably the most common, and involve us interrupting our conversation to check something on our phone. It’s often referred to colloquially as “phubbing”, as our phone grabs attention away from our companion.
The response to this behavior typically revolves around how our companion understands the situation. While it’s very easy for the companion to regard this behavior as rude, it doesn’t have to be the case.
“On the one hand, how you suspend your interaction plays a role. If you explain to the person you’re with why you have to postpone your physical interaction, it’s perceived as more polite than if you just disappear and start “phubbing,” that is, phoning someone else and ignoring the person who’s physically present. At the same time, some people may appreciate a short break from a longer conversation, and using the phone can also be a natural, interwoven part of the social interaction that takes place in the café,” the researchers explain.
Tit-for-tat
When we extricate ourselves from the conversation, this is often a direct response to our companion placing us in an awkward situation. For instance, if they start using their phone, we can often begin using ours to show that we’re not being involuntarily left on our own. You might also initiate phone usage to get out of difficult conversations.
The paper highlights that some people will have their phone on silent to allow them to pretend they’ve received an important message that they have to attend to urgently.
Somewhat less rude, and you sense far less common, is the desire to share something you’ve found on your phone with your companion.
“When you take a selfie together, or show pictures of your new girlfriend or kids, or of the house you want to bid on, or the map of where you were on holiday, you’re sharing content,” the researchers say.
Such sharing of content, which might also include sharing documents, news stories, music, and so on, can initiate new conversations or enrich existing ones, and is therefore the most socially acceptable form of mobile phone use.
An inexact science
Suffice to say, this is not a clearly delineated phenomenon, and many of the aforementioned uses can overlap, with blurred boundaries between the various applications.
“For example, a mutual understanding can allow those who are meeting to take pictures of the coffee cup at the very beginning of the conversation and perhaps share the picture on social media for uninterested acquaintances. But then they put away their phones, either until a message appears, or perhaps even until the physical meeting comes to an end. If you go to a café to be social, the person with you in real life is the focus,” the researchers explain.
People may also jointly agree to use their phones for a short period before returning to their companion and continuing their joint activity. There may also be instances where people use their phones while their companion is ordering or is visiting the rest room.
The researchers hope that their work dispels the myth that we’re glued to our phones no matter what, and indeed that there has been a degree of decorum established around the correct use of phones in social situations.
“Whatever the reasons, one thing seems certain: smartphones have changed how we behave socially, for better or for worse,” they conclude. “But maybe socializing has just become different in a way we need to become conscious of.”
