There have been many telltale signs of the growing toll stress is placing on us during Covid. As Harvard research published last year showed, however, one of the more visible is the premature greying of our hair.

Of course, while stress is bad enough in and of itself, grey hair does not affect everyone equally. Indeed, data from the dating website Match.com found that women tend to find men with grey hair more attractive than those without. With respondents saying that greying men appeared wise and distinguished, it’s not hard to imagine how such an advantage translates into the workplace as well.

As recent research from the University of Exeter reminds us, however, it’s not an advantage that extends to women.  The researchers surveyed women who allowed their hair to grey naturally and found a clear sense of conflict between looking natural and appearing competent at work.

Going grey

The participants, who were recruited from online groups whose members discussed and promoted the natural greying of hair rather than dying it.  The respondents revealed a clear sense of solidarity towards each other in the face of societal prejudices towards youth and beauty.

“We are all constrained by society’s norms and expectations when it comes to appearance, but expectations are more rigorous for women – especially older women,” the researchers explain.  “The ‘old woman’ is an undesirable character in Western societies, being seen as incompetent or unpleasant – if she is seen at all.”

The respondents, who were recruited from two Facebook groups about “transitioning” to grey hair, revealed that there are often impossible standards expected of women to remain natural and youthful forever whilst also retaining status.

Sadly, many reported suffering a range of negative consequences from going grey, including being treated as less competent or being ignored.  This is counter-balanced, however, by generally feeling happier by being more natural.

“We also found that women chose to compensate for going grey by using other beauty practices – so embracing grey isn’t the same as embracing looking old,” the researchers continue.  “Grey-haired and youthfully glamorous is one thing, but in Western societies it’s still not OK to look old.”

Managing the trade-off

The responses suggest that the key is to manage the trade-off between being authentic and being seen as competent.  This is by no means easy as many reported barbs about being both too natural, such as letting oneself go, and also about covering up their age, such as being “mutton dressed as lamb”.

Almost universally respondents revealed that support from partners, family, and friends made the transition to grey a much easier and happier process.

Letting their hair age naturally has been something that many women have chosen during COVID, especially with many hairdressers shut for extended periods of time during lockdown measures.  This, coupled with a reduction in social interactions, either professionally or personally, has prompted many women to adopt their natural look.

“This appears to have accelerated a shift that was already happening, with more and more women choosing not to dye their hair,” the researchers say.