At the back end of last year, tech executive and investor Joe Lonsdale argued that men in positions of power should not be taking parental leave. In a tweet, he branded “any man in an important position who takes six months of leave for a newborn” as a loser, with those men supposed, in his mind, to double their efforts at work to fulfill their side of the parental bargain.

This perspective has been widely observed in the workplace and underpins the so-called “fatherhood bonus” that sees men’s income rise after they become a father (with the opposite usually the case for women who become mothers).

Researchers believe that this is due to stereotypes about each gender, with the role of breadwinner leading to a spike in fathers’ perception as they will become additionally focused on work, whilst those stereotypes position women as the caregiver position them in the opposite way.

Holding men back

Research from the University of South Australia illustrates how strong these cultural norms are.  The research, which set out to better understand the barriers that prevent men from accessing things like flexible work arrangements, found that masculine norms often kept men from asking for parental leave, flexible working hours, and other “feminine” workplace benefits.

The study revealed that men often feel pressure from their employer not to accept any flexible work options that are nominally available to employees, especially if doing so for family reasons.

The findings come at a time when Australia has among the lowest rates of fathers taking parental leave in the world, with just 1% of recipients being men.  The authors argue that a big factor in this low adoption of flexible work arrangements by Australian men is due to a perceived, and often actual, lack of support from their managers and colleagues.

“Workplace flexibility is typically accepted as an option for mothers, but when it comes to dads, flexibility is unlikely to be as readily accepted—and in some cases not even considered,” they say.

“Workplace and societal norms play a big role in the lack of flexibility for dads, with many men feeling pressure to conform to stereotypical concepts of the male ‘breadwinner’—they’re applauded for earning the dollars to support their family but frowned upon if they consider flexibility to do the same.”

Showing commitment

They go on to suggest that many new fathers feel like they have to show commitment to their job and declining any flexible work arrangements are seen as a way of doing that, especially as this is often accompanied by taking on additional hours after becoming a father.

The researchers highlight how important it is for a child to have their father involved early on in their life, with the bond forged in this formative period enduring, resulting in positive outcomes for the child.

While the Paid Parental Leave program in Australia is gender neutral, societal stigma can make it difficult for men to take advantage of the opportunity, with men not feeling like the flexibility is something they should use, either when their child is newborn or at any other point in their life.

“Some fathers are trying to be more flexible—say, for example, by coming into work late after dropping the kids at school—but they’re also very aware of the need to visibly minimize their time away from paid work. Of course, this can depend on the workplace, but even where workplaces have flexibility policies there is often an unspoken, or cultural, discouragement of dads taking time away from work for family reasons,” the researchers say.

An unmet desire

The study revealed that there was clearly a desire among fathers to utilize flexible work hours to spend more time with their children, but these desires are often being squashed by restrictive cultures and norms at work.

Suffice to say, such norms don’t only influence men in the workplace but also play a major role in how women who utilize flexible working are perceived as well.

The researchers hope that their work goes some way towards raising awareness of the issue, as just 2% of Australian organizations currently have even any goals for improving male participation in flexible work, so there’s clearly a long way to go before workplace cultures become more modern.

“To initiate change in relation to dad’s use of flexibility, and parental leave in particular, cultural change is vital. But this can only be achieved when we have strong social policies supported by business practice,” the researchers conclude.

“Evidence shows that when fathers are provided with well-compensated, targeted and extended parental leave, they are very likely to take it.”