That the last few years have been extremely stressful is beyond dispute, and the Covid era has resulted in widespread calls for more humane leadership to better account for these stresses and support employees through them.

Nonetheless, talking about one’s difficulties can be extremely challenging for managers who have largely been trained to leave emotions at the door and create a distinction between one’s personal and professional life.  Research from Harvard Business School suggests that even acknowledging the stress employees feel is a good start.

Building trust

This seemingly straightforward gesture is so powerful because it helps to establish trust between people, which has obvious implications for the strength of your relationship with them.

The researchers conducted several studies involving around 2,500 volunteers over a couple of years.  They revealed that acknowledging the negative emotions of our colleagues greatly enhances the trust those people have in us.  Understandably, the corollary of that is that when negative emotions are not acknowledged, this weakens the trust people have in us.

Acknowledging negative emotions does exert an emotional toll, however, as well as a time cost to actually spend time talking through things with that individual.  It’s a process the researchers refer to as “costly signaling”.  These signals are especially strong if acknowledging negative emotions is not something that is common within an organization.

“You’re showing that you’re willing to risk social sanctions in order to try to help someone who is maybe going through a difficult time,” the researchers explain.

Showing empathy

This can be difficult as there is a strong cultural sense within many organizations that everything must be going well and everyone must be thriving.  Admitting that things aren’t going well, whether professionally or personally, requires a high degree of psychological safety.

Creating a welcoming culture is crucial, as without it people may feel uneasy about opening up or that their privacy is being invaded.  It’s also important that any inquiries aren’t superficially made and that managers stick around to hear the answer.

“Managers are not going to gain the benefits if they’re not willing to then put in the effort to really understand why their employees are feeling that way and maybe even try to help,” the researchers say.

They even believe that managers can benefit from making the effort, even if their effort is somewhat clumsy or made at the wrong time.  The mere act of trying to connect with employees outweighs any possible risks involved.

Sadly, while there seems to be a strong desire among employees for managers to offer this kind of support, managers often see doing so as outside of their role.  This disconnect promises to undermine trust at a time when trust is sorely needed.

“Not acknowledging negative emotions can be detrimental for building trust,” the researchers conclude, “because if there is an expectation, especially that the leader is supposed to take care of their employees, and this is such a difficult time, staying silent can be harmful.”