Like many, after long periods of either isolation or reduced social contact during the pandemic, when restrictions were eased, there was a noticeable sense of clunkiness about my social skills.  Research from George Mason University highlights just how commonplace these unintentional social gaffes were.

The researchers examined some of the consequences of such gaffes in a workplace setting.  They highlight that such faux pas are by no means inconsequential, with even minor gaffes having consequences. If the clumsy individual acts appropriately, however, then the bond could be strengthened.

Responding well

If you make a gaffe, the researchers suggest that the first thing is not to be ashamed.  We can often believe that events are irreparable because of our mistakes, which can prompt us to withdraw from our peers rather than reach out to them.

We should then consider whether our gaffe was likely to have hurt the feelings of the recipient or just hurt their ego a bit.  This is a key distinction to make, as eco-based reactions can result in showing off in order to compensate.  If those around you aren’t aware that you’re trying to compensate for your gaffe, it may make things worse.  The best bet in such situations is simply to let it go as people will inevitably forget pretty quickly, if they even noticed it at all.

The researchers also explain that most gaffes are sufficiently minor that a quick and direct apology is sufficient to ensure no harm is done.  Some gaffes may be slightly more serious, and therefore require more deliberate recompense, such as inviting the recipient for lunch.

Ultimately, it’s as important to be as kind to yourself as it is to the other person.  Our social skills will undoubtedly have been dulled by the Covid period, but it’s equally likely that everyone is in the same boat.

“The key thing to remember is that gaffes are unintentional by nature. Managers should be able to distinguish between incivility and honest mistakes,” the researchers say.