Extroverts often seem like social activities come easily to them, and their ease and charm is sufficient to get them everywhere they need to go in life. Of course, things may not be quite so straightforward, and Harvard research explains that extroverts can often be assumed to be bad listeners. What’s more, extroverts are also often perceived as inauthentic shape shifters who adapt their personality to their circumstances.

Indeed, as it is often crucial that people feel like they’re being seen and heard, the apparent focus on oneself may result in extroverts losing credibility with peers. The researchers believe that their findings are especially important given the need to rebuild trust after the various stresses of the pandemic period.

“When you’re engaging with an extrovert in conversation, they may be gregarious, they may be outgoing, there may be other sociable signs that are positive, but they may also be seen as not paying as much attention,” the researchers explain.

Emotionally detached

The findings surprised the researchers, who assumed that extroverts would be perceived as being in tune with others emotionally. This is due to their high social skills, but the reality was altogether different.

The results emerged after six studies were conducted involving around 2,500 volunteers. For instance, one experiment asked participants to rate themselves on a personality scale, before then answering four questions to try and understand their conversation style. The results suggest a negative relationship between extroversion and active listening behavior.

These results appeared consistent when volunteers were asked to perceive the listening skills of strangers who appeared to be outgoing and extroverted.

Suffice to say, while the results are not altogether positive, the researchers are at pains to point out that all is not lost for extroverts, and there are various things they can do to ensure business relationships remain strong.

“Extroverts may need to start thinking about different ways to engage in conversations and maybe even be a little bit explicit about signaling that they’re listening,” they say.

Indeed, if we can improve our listening skills, this can have numerous benefits in the workplace, as when people feel like they’re being heard, they tend to relax more and are less defensive. What’s more, the researchers also believe that this can boost motivation and creativity.

“Whatever you can do to more directly convey that you are listening and are retaining information should be helpful,” the researchers continue.

The authors conclude with a number of practical tips that we can employ to show that we’re actively listening to our partner:

• Offer verbal cues of listening. Repeat back and paraphrase what someone has just said.
• Make use of phrases like “right,” “yes,” and “mm-hmm” in conversation.
• Look for other ways to signal engagement—laugh at jokes and be silent when appropriate.
• Use a variety of nonverbal cues in conversation. Make eye contact, nod, and smile while talking.
• Assume an open posture. Keep your hands apart, not crossed or folded. Directly face the person with whom you are talking.
• Mirror the posture of the person with whom you are speaking.

“Generally, people really under-use these cues, especially the verbal cues,” they conclude. “So, everyone, including extroverts, can use those cues strategically to signal that they’re cognitively engaged.”