Since the 2016 US presidential election, numerous news accounts and scientific research have demonstrated how defriending – a term that was initially associated with the act of removing Facebook friends – reverberates in our wider, offline social lives. While severing ties with troublesome individuals may appear to be a straightforward decision, it can actually aggravate societal rifts and exacerbate existing divisions.
It is not uncommon for relationships to falter due to conflicts, differences in opinion, shifts in lifestyle, or a hectic schedule. Under such circumstances, defriending can be a practical and reasonable choice. Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize that the act of severing social ties is not a novel concept.
Cutting ties
Research from UMass Amherst suggests that we’re 2.5 times more likely to cut ties with friends of different races in recent years. The data also revealed that individuals were 2.3 times more inclined to sever ties with individuals who belonged to a different religion. Moreover, a distinct subgroup of the study participants, ranging from 21 to 30 years of age, were nearly two times more prone to ending tenuous relationships across the political spectrum as a result of disagreements.
In essence, individuals were self-isolating, with younger generations, in particular, distancing themselves from those who differed from them. The act of defriending can take several forms, from quietly phasing out old friendships to more explicit measures, such as Dilbert creator Scott Adams’ racist remarks advocating for white Americans to cut ties with Black Americans.
The study clearly shows that we’re more likely to cut weak ties than we are strong ones. For instance, individuals were more disposed to sever tenuous relationships with those who differed from them compared to their reluctance to do so with strong family ties.
Cutting weak ties
Essentially, people were unwilling to cut off their uncle who muttered offensive remarks at every family gathering, but they had no qualms about terminating casual associations with acquaintances from the gym or supermarket.
Despite their apparent vulnerability, weak ties – encompassing relationships forged through brief water cooler conversations at work to connections established from interactions with strangers during daily commutes – are indispensable to our lives.
Irrespective of the method, societal ramifications ensue when individuals segregate themselves into groups that share their beliefs or appearance. Apart from missing out on vital resources such as job opportunities controlled by their former associates, individuals may also forego the opportunity to establish successful and inclusive political alliances. Additionally, people may be ignorant of the difficulties faced by individuals in a different group, leading to a lack of willingness to offer support.
Social boundaries
The establishment of social boundaries can result in widespread inequalities since segregation leads to varied opportunities for different groups. These disparities are both unjust and avoidable, but they are also challenging to eliminate.
Reduced connections across different groups make meaningful political discourse increasingly challenging, particularly when neither group has a sufficient understanding or willingness to engage with the perspectives of the other.
Self-segregation by means of defriending deprives us of the chance to learn from differences and identify shared values.
