In many countries, even if there are laws about dads getting time off when a baby is born, the way workplaces operate and traditional views on who takes care of kids can be old-fashioned.

A recent study from the John Molson School of Business looked at how guys working in French accounting firms felt about taking paternity leave. The results showed that these men wanted to spend more time with their partners and new babies. But a lot of them felt pressured to skip or delay their paternity leave because of work responsibilities.

Taking leave

The study highlighted different experiences that come with being a dad and taking paternity leave. Some guys felt frustrated because they didn’t get enough support from their bosses, both emotionally and practically. It was also tough for them to balance being a dad and handling their work responsibilities. Interestingly, some of the new dads saw parental leave more like a long break than a chance to bond with their newborns.

“Most men are reluctant to take their allotted leave simply because they understand how their professional world works,” the researchers explain.

“Parental leave is accepted for women. But men who take it are seen as violating the norm that they should focus on their profession. While we know women pay a professional price for focusing on raising children, men are very worried that they will pay an even higher one.”

The researchers intentionally kept the group small for this initial study, talking to 13 men employed in auditing firms in France. The group included partners, senior managers, managers, and a senior, with all but one being dads. They all worked at mid-tier firms or one of the three Big Four firms (KPMG, PwC, Ernst & Young, Deloitte).

Gender differences

From their interviews, the researchers identified five main points:

1. Dads aren’t too keen on taking paternity leave. Those who did usually planned it around busy and slow work times, often in August.
2. Paternity leave clashes with professional work. Many dads delayed or skipped their leaves because of work pressures.
3. Companies are more accommodating to moms than dads. In France, women get 16 weeks of leave by law, while men get five. The study found that companies were more willing to plan and promote maternity leaves compared to paternity leaves.
4. Paternity leaves are seen as vacations. Both dads and their colleagues often saw time away from work as a chance to relax with family and reduce work stress, not as an opportunity for intensive care for their newborns.
5. Dads have different emotional experiences. Some didn’t like doing caregiving or discussing personal stuff at work, while others felt stressed about asking for leave and having work interfere. Some also regretted missing out on paternity leave or family time because of work.

“We wanted the study to provide a range of experiences because we did not know whether men were actually happy with the status quo. It turns out that many of them are not,” the authors conclude. “Men are worried about the pervasive culture of overwork in the workforce—and not only in professional service firms.”