In both work and personal settings, people frequently hide negative information about themselves due to concerns about harsh judgment from others. However, recent research from the McCombs School of Business suggests that these fears may be exaggerated.

The study found that when individuals overcome their fear and share a secret with others, the recipients of this information are much more understanding and charitable than the individuals disclosing the secret had anticipated. This highlights a positive aspect of human behavior, showing that people tend to respond with greater kindness and empathy when someone opens up about a personal challenge or difficulty.

Different perspectives

“When we’re thinking about conveying negative information about ourselves, we’re focused on the content of the message,” the researchers explain. “But the recipients are thinking about the positive traits required to reveal this secret, such as trust, honesty, and vulnerability.”

In the study, participants were prompted to envision disclosing a negative secret and predict how others would judge them. Subsequently, each participant disclosed the secret to another person, and the researchers collected the responses from these recipients. What consistently emerged was that the anticipated judgment was consistently more negative than the actual judgment received.

The decision to reveal or conceal information was often influenced by the expectation of how others might perceive the individual. If there was a belief that others would view them as less trustworthy, it significantly impacted the decision to keep information hidden.

Interestingly, the experiments revealed a paradoxical outcome. Contrary to expectations, disclosure had a positive effect. Recipients of the disclosed secrets rated the honesty and trustworthiness of the individuals sharing the information much more favorably than the individuals disclosing the secrets had initially anticipated. This suggests that opening up about negative information may lead to more positive evaluations from others than one might fear.

Misaligned expectations

During the study, participants disclosed a diverse array of negative information, ranging from admitting they never learned to ride a bike to confessing to acts of infidelity. They anticipated that more serious secrets would result in harsher judgments from others.

However, even for the darker secrets, participants tended to overestimate the negative impact. According to Kumar, “The magnitude of what you’re revealing can impact people’s evaluations, but it also impacts your expectations of those evaluations.”

In one particular study, researchers informed participants about a key insight: people tend to overestimate the negative consequences of revealing secrets. This revelation caused a shift in participants’ attitudes toward greater openness.

When participants were challenged to confess that they had lied, only 56% chose to do so. However, in another group where participants were assured that they would likely not face severe judgment, a much higher percentage—92%—opted to disclose their lies. This underscores how altering perceptions about potential judgments can significantly influence individuals’ willingness to be open about their actions.

“There’s a psychological burden associated with secrecy,” the researchers conclude. “If we can alter people’s expectations to make them more in line with reality, they might be more transparent in their relationships.”