Many folks believe that eating together as a family is good for everyone’s health and try to make it a regular thing. But when we look closely at family meals, we see they involve more than just food – they’re about how we interact too.

Researchers at Flinders University dug into this topic. They studied how kids from different backgrounds eat and interact during meals in France and Australia. They found that how parents handle meals is tied to how much money they have.

Families with more resources tend to put a lot of effort into mealtime. They plan balanced meals and encourage kids to eat what’s served. On the flip side, families with fewer resources often take a more hands-off approach, serving simpler meals that cater to kids’ tastes.

These different styles not only affect what kids eat but also shape their behavior. Kids from families with intensive mealtime efforts tend to develop negotiation skills, while those from hands-off families learn to make their own food choices.

The idea of a happy family eating together is something many of us strive for, and understanding the dynamics of mealtime can help us get there.

“The happy family meal ideology is widespread, but few studies have specifically investigated the way emotions are managed at the table,” the researchers explain.

Emotional management

A second study sheds light on how emotions play out differently during mealtimes depending on whether it’s the mother or father at the helm. In this study, mothers were perceived as nurturing, affectionate, and patient, while fathers were viewed as fun-loving yet sometimes impatient and authoritative.

Moreover, when it came to handling conflicts and tensions that arose during meals, mothers took on a heavier burden of what’s called “emotion work.” This involves managing the family’s emotions and ensuring a harmonious atmosphere. Mothers were observed to invest significant effort in resolving conflicts and soothing children, contributing significantly to creating a warm and loving environment. However, these efforts often went unnoticed or were undervalued.

“Emotion plays a significant role, so evaluating the amount and type of mealtime emotion management are essential to understand the barriers and burdens that families face when wanting to eat together,” the authors conclude.

“Investigating the atmosphere of family mealtimes and highlighting the strategies family members adopt to deal with emotions and conflicts at the table is important, as it brings us to the center of understanding the work of feeding a family, and of family life.

“The notion of family remains a powerful institution, and family meals are still positioned symbolically as the center of family life—so the results of this study will be of interest to many parents and health care professionals.”