The desire to bond with others is inherent in all humans. Indeed, when people lack this basic desire they’re typically looked on as sociopathic and strange. You can see this manifest desire in situations like the recent Apple iPhone 5 launch, with shoppers flocking to buy the phone and be part of the crowd. For people who so crave the sense of belonging that being with like minded people brings, being outcast from that group can be particularly traumatic.
Yet there remains a significant number of people who are quite happy to be different from the rest, that are happy to think and act independently and sit on the outside. How does social rejection influence these people?
New research suggests it actually proves as energising to them as being a part of the in-crowd does to the rest.
“For people who already feel separate from the crowd, social rejection can be a form of validation,” says the study’s lead co-author Sharon Kim, an assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins University’s Carey Business School
“Rejection,” she says, “confirms for independent people what they already feel about themselves, that they’re not like others. For such people, that distinction is a positive one leading them to greater creativity.”
That negative consequence however is only present in those for whom group approval is important. For those that pride themselves on being different, rejection can be a life affirming moment.
“We’re seeing in society a growing concern about the negative consequences of social rejection, thanks largely to media reports about bullying that occurs at school, in the workplace, and online,” Kim says.
“Obviously, bullying is reprehensible and produces nothing good,” she says. “What we tried to show in our paper is that exclusion from a group can sometimes lead to a positive outcome when independently minded people are the ones being excluded.”
The researchers found that after rejection, the independent sorts were actually at their most creative. This could have serious implications for employers that are striving to tap into the innovative potential of their employees. For these individuals, being part of a Skunk Works type project away from the rest could be a source of pride and energise their creativity.
With online communities of course it is easier than ever before for the ‘outcasts’ to find other people with a similar sense of pride in their uniqueness. How that might influence their creativity could be an interesting follow up to this study to test whether such individualists still crave belonging, but are more particular about the kind of people they want to share that with, or whether they really are happier being lone wolves.
I absolutely hate being a part of the in crowd. That's why I love this post!
You and me both Geoff. Thanks for the comment 🙂
Love it!
So much of what you say here could be helpful for the more introverted. Thanks!
Quite right Pat. We need to make workplaces as inclusive as possible to all personality types, not just the outgoing folks.
Whilst this works for people with the self-confidence to be happy on the outside, there must be a lot of people that regard being kicked to the curb as a traumatic thing.
though its sad to be an outcast but for sure there is also a positive thing to it .. like being independent.. right?
I guess there is a fundamental difference between "rejection" and simply "being different". Some folks like being outcasts or aren't part of the in-group simply because they don't appreciate the herd mentality. Being different is also enjoying an old TV or laptop while everyone is raving about flat-screens and the new MacBook Air.
I don't think anybody really enjoys being "rejected", as it derives from alienation, and we all long to be recognized and appreciated, no matter if it's part of a like-minded group or by just a few loved ones. But you are right: social media and online communities make it easier to find people like us, which casts a different light on the definition of being an outcast 😉
That is the thing I think. If you're rejected due to a feature of your personality you respect, by other people you respect, then I'm sure it would hit harder than being rejected by people you have no respect for. I dare say even the most independent of people will have people whose opinion means a lot to them.
I always liked to be different and I never wanted to be a part of the crowd!
Since when at 17 years I became popular at school because I did a year of cultural exchange in Venezuela (which has changed my life).
Until now that I do not accept a 9-17 job.
Of course, I love, friendships, family, being around other people : if you think differently, it does not mean be antisocial, indeed.
Thanks for the post, Adi!
Did you hear about SAP looking to hire lots of autistic people? They were looking for people that were a bit different.
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/the-case-for-hiring-… has a bit on it.
Yes I saw that. Interesting stuff and nice to see. Thanks for the HBR link.
Great article.I can funtion as a outlaw or part of a team.theres nothing wrong with being independant.take it from me