Bragging is something that appears commonplace throughout the online world.  Indeed, you could argue that Facebook and its kin largely exist to allow us to brag about various facets of our apparently wonderful lives.

A recent study found that the kind of bragging we do online sheds light on our personality, with those who brag about their physique likely to have narcissistic tendencies, whilst those who brag about their partner may be insecure.

The perils of bragging

Of course, bragging is not something that’s limited to social media, but a couple of studies highlight the risks involved in blowing our own trumpet.

The first highlights how likely it is for the people we’re telling our triumphant news to will be much less excited by it than we are.The study asked participants to recall times when they had bragged themselves and had been on the receiving end of bragging.  It emerged that regardless of the topic of the brag, people nearly always over-estimated the extent to which their bragging would make the recipient happy for them.
What’s more, we generally underestimate how annoying it is to be on the receiving end of a brag.Why bragging backfires

Interestingly, the study revealed that when we attempt to make people like us through a bit of bragging, it generally has the opposite effect.

This finding was replicated in a second study that looked at the practice of bragging in a humble way (what the authors called ‘humblebragging’).

The study explored how people respond in interview situations when confronted with the question of our biggest weakness.

It emerged that far and away the most common response to the question was being a perfectionist, followed closely by being a workaholic and being far too nice and helpful for our own good. Oh, and we also like to humblebrag about our fairness and honesty too.

Whilst we might think such a strategy is a good one, the study actually found that recruiters are less likely to hire a humblebragger than the individual who fessed up to an actual weakness.

Humblebragging on Social Media

Social media is another classic environment for humblebragging, and the authors found it was extremely pervasive online. They found that on social networks such as Twitter, humblebragging was linked with trying hard to be liked and/or competent in our work. Whilst we probably do it in order to promote ourselves, the study found that people actually rated such individuals less highly.

Interestingly, the study found that given a choice between a humblebragger, a straight forward bragger, and a run of the mill complainer, people tended to like the complainer most of all, followed by the regular bragger, with the humblebragger bringing up the rear.

In other words, if you engage in some humblebragging, you’re likely to come off pretty badly. Such people were perceived not only as less likable, but also as less attractive and less sincere than the bragger and complainer.

So if you feel the temptation to blow your own trumpet, the study suggests that you’d actually be much better off doing so in an upfront way.  Likewise, if you want to have a grumble, just get on and grumble, and don’t try and cover it up in some way.